solitude

I was talking to my brother yesterday about the current climate and what’s to come for all of us and I realized something. I was calm. Today, more than ever, I am grateful for the hardships, the pain and the financial struggles that I endured when I first moved to the U.S.

No one heard about the struggle, just me and my partner.

We were too prideful to ask for help and there was no way that I was telling my family back home what I was going through.

Many days, I would drop to the floor, curl up in a ball and bawl my eyes out. I felt disconnected to all people, especially back home, knowing that they simply wouldn’t relate to what I was going through.

There were many lessons. I lost many friends and gained a whole new perspective on who I wanted close to me in my life.

Many people don’t share my perspective on life and especially adversity. I was told to come home more times than not, even through the slightest of hardship….

But that’s not how I saw it. I knew, right then, that once I got through this, not only could I get through anything but that God would bless me beyond anything that I could’ve imagined. That I would come out of it, fearlessly, courageously and more resilient than ever.

What I didn’t know was that through my struggles were my most valued lessons. I become CRAZY compassionate, I could relate to so many people, my priorities and values were rearranged in ways I would never have gotten to had it not been for this.

When I lived in LA I remember my partner asking me hypothetically, if I had the option to train celebrities or a community of people who didn’t have the resources or money but I could change their lives..who would it be?….What do you think my answer was back then?…I bet you can guess how my answer changed after that tumultuous year.

My point is this…through the current fear and uncertainty, while talking to my brother yesterday I was reminded of how grateful I am to had lost everything….because right here, right now…even if all I had was faith….that my friends would be enough.

Love you all. Together we can get through anything.